Socially Conscious Weddings

Published in Best Places in Town

Weddings With Heart

by Karen M. Jones

Weddings may surpass even the Christmas holidays as the last bastion of ritual tradition, but youthful progressives, older couples with established households and those marrying for the second (or third) time are incorporating greater social conscience into their nuptial events. From gifts of charity, eco-friendly accoutrements and donations of everything from dresses to daisies, weddings are spreading the love. Our coastal community is known for its eco-consciousness and charitable activity, making benevolent weddings at the beach a more-than-perfect union. Here are some simple ways to commit with compassion:

Make your white dress "green;" consider a gown made from silk or hemp. You'll find lovely examples at Deanna's (phone) and Twila Farrell (phone), both on Second Street in Lewes. You could also buy your gown from a nonprofit boutique, where proceeds benefit a partner charity. MakingMemories.org, for instance, brings more than 2000 donated gowns for sale to cities across the country, including Washington, D.C. (October 7-8), and Philadelphia (October 21-22). Sales from these events benefit breast cancer programs.

When the party's over, you can pass your dress on to an organization that will sell it on consignment and use the proceeds to support a worthy cause. The I Do Foundation, for example, donates 10% of the sale to the charity of your choice - which could be a local nonprofit -- and uses the remaining funds to support its charitable weddings work. Or you may want to donate your gently used wedding wear -- gowns and/or groomsmen's formals -- to disadvantaged high school students who want to attend their proms in style. FairyGodmothersInc.org is headquartered in Philadelphia, while The Priceless Gown Project accepts donations in Baltimore (email address).

You may wish to decline conventional wedding gifts altogether (especially if you've already set up your household) in favor of charitable donations, or you might choose to give gift-givers the option of buying a traditional present -- with a percentage of the purchase going to charity -- or making a direct donation. Either way, your wedding presents will overflow with generosity.

If you want to give well-wishers a choice of presents or donations, create a wedding gift registry with the IDoFoundation.org and designate a local nonprofit organization as the beneficiary. Your guests can purchase items from your list at I Do's partner stores and have up to 8% of their purchases donated to the charity you name. If you also sign up with I Do's Donation Registry, your guests have the option to donate to your favorite charity in lieu of giving a present.

Consider tree-free or recycled paper for your invitations. Ask for it from your printer or check out BotanicalPaperworks.com or PaperCache.com online.

When you shop for rings, you may want to seek out jewelers who offer recycled gold, conflict-free diamonds, and other selections that originate from ecologically sound mining and fair labor practices. Learn more about these options at GreenKarat.com.

Favors let your guests know how much you appreciate them -- but don't say it with almonds. How about an animal- and eco-friendly, all natural handmade soap from The Soap Fairy (phone) in Lewes. Or consider a soy wax candle with an all-cotton wick from Lotions & Potions on Baltimore Avenue in Rehoboth Beach. A tree seedling from Martin's Garden Center (phone) at the junction of Airport and Old Landing roads in Rehoboth could provide a lasting, living reminder of your special day.

If you want to give your parties purpose, mobilize your shower, engagement or bachelor(ette) party guests to volunteer for a local service project. Check with local schools or community centers to see if your gang could paint or plant a garden. Contact Habitat for Humanity (phone) to see if they need help with home-raising. Find other options by entering your zip code at NetworkForGood.org.

Consider using the money you might spend on a wedding day extravagance to fund a benevolent shopping spree with your guests or wedding party for a worthy cause. You could give each person $10 for a group buying bonanza at Kids' Ketch (phone) in Lewes and deliver the toys to the Rehoboth Beach Day Care Center (phone); purchase pet items at Critter Beach (phone) on Rehoboth's Baltimore Avenue to give to the Rehoboth-based Delaware Pet Adoption Center; or grocery-shop at Bozie's Market (phone) on Highway One in north Dewey Beach and hand off the goods to the Cape Henlopen Food Basket in Lewes. You might also want to sponsor a spree at Christmas Spirit on Rehoboth Avenue and donate the items to Casa San Francisco (phone), a Milton shelter for people who are homeless, so that their holidays might be brighter. The possibilities are endless and the rewards are tremendous.

To eliminate the environmental impact of chemical pesticides, ask for organically grown flowers. Locally, Bayberry Flowers (phone) at Henlopen Station in Rehoboth Beach will order them for you. Also, spare local birds from a rice or seed frenzy; arrange for guests to toss petals acquired from Rehoboth's Windsor's Flowers (phone) on Highway One. After your event, donate your flowers to brighten someone else's surroundings. Brandywine Assisted Living at Seaside Pointe (phone), behind Super G in Rehoboth, and Casa San Francisco would be happy to put your centerpieces to good use.

Your socially conscious and vegan guests will appreciate having your cake and savoring it, too. The pastry chef at Nage (phone), on Highway One in Rehoboth, will consult with you to turn your favorite vegan cake recipe into a wedding work of art. Nage also offers vegetarian dishes when catering your wedding, as do Planet X (phone) and Celsius (phone) on Wilmington Avenue in Rehoboth, and The Buttery (phone) in Lewes, among others. Ask about vegetarian and organic food and beverage options when you talk with your caterer and inquire whether they employ reusable crates and cartons or (more wasteful) throwaways to transport ingredients and supplies. Wherever you can, avoid disposable paper and plastic products.

Don't let excess food from your event go to waste. Call the Food Bank of Delaware (phone) or Casa San Francisco to see if what you have remaining might meet their needs.

For more ideas and resources that make your wedding memorable and mindful, visit OrganicWeddings.com or Gaiam.com's Organic Weddings tips.